When I consider myself better than Babylon,
I’m Israel
I’m lost, petty, pitiful
Wandering in search of a promise
I never deserved
I have a lot of voices in my head
Most of them are angry
Except for this One song,
That’s the One who saved me
What is apathy except
Seeing the injustice done to society’s least, calling it an agenda and crying for yourself
For your cross
I’m sorry for being harsh
(I’m not)
But if you think the man who died fully God,
The man who bled silent in the face of loud curses
Taunts
Bullies and mobs
The man who was enough for you
But somehow you think isn’t enough for them
If you think the Son of God, Spirit of Heaven, Abba of Creation
Needs your protection
Needs your social defense
Needs little you to defend infinite Him
I really don’t know what to tell you
I’m saying all this and I worry I’m the same
I worry every day yet not enough that I’m trying to martyr my pride
Rather than kill it, destroy it
I’m a hypocrite and a liar
I see women and devalue them in the same breath I try to advocate their rights
I yell at this nation, this church the same moment I try to pray
I get so involved with trying to fix people in the name of healing relationships
That I lose them
I’ve lost them
And in the name of being sick of it
In the Name of the one who was always right
I want to lose myself to repentance
I want to lose myself to Christ

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